Life is movement.
It has its ups and downs.
And it moves sideways too.
Movement is part of the natural process.
There are moments for thinking, and moments for action.
There’s time for activity and time for resting.
The art is to go with the flow of life.
In your own rhythm.
In your own way.

Going with the flow of life is not a subject at school. Most of us haven’t learned to experience the ups and downs as natural movements. There are often few things we are really good at and we overextend ourselves and overuse them in the hope of staying on the upside. Getting stuck can happen in a moment when you’ve been doing the same thing for too long.
Let’s say I excel at getting things done, I’m a doer. I enjoy being productive. I might get lost in doing so much that I don’t catch the moment when it would be advisable to plan my next steps so the actions that I am taking actually serve my purpose. But taking this time-out of doing to plan is something that makes me uncomfortable. I have this idea of myself that I’m not good at it. If this is true or not, I can’t say. But life requires phases of planning too.
So, in this particular case getting stuck manifests in my life in the form of moving in an endless cycle of doing while worrying if I’m taking the right actions. This is ineffective on several levels:

• I am not fully involved in the action I’m taking as part of my attention is caught in worry.

• I might be doing many things that do not actually support me in serving my purpose.

• I don’t have the time for strategic planning as I’m always in action mode.

• There is something in me that is afraid about the planning stage, as my self-image tells me I’m a doer and not good at planning.

In it’s natural state the body is effective. Just not in the way our mind would like to impose on the body. It tells us when it’s time to rest, when to say no (i.e. one translation of the emotion of anger), what we feel attracted to, etc. Bringing body and mind in alignment is my favorite thing to explore. It is aslo the journey I’m inviting you to join.

Saying no to ‘You should (always)…’

If you want to have a rich, creative and content life, it’s wise to give up on the idea of ‘You should be…’. And this phrase frequently comes with this little and limiting word ‘always’ attached to it. No matter if your parents or teachers told you that you should be a certain way or if you unconsciously came to this conclusion by being surrounded by people who were living in a particular way, there is no always and there is also no particular way that you are or should be. (At least that’s the idea I’m working with.)

You are more than you think

I know that there’s more in you than you think. And that you can tap into your potential and go with the flow of life when you are open to exploring qualities in you that you are not sure you have or can trust yet.  (I am aware that I don’t know you personally, but having worked with a couple of hundred people for the last six years has given me the confidence that an individual’s potential unfolds when you’re willing to look for it and to let go of old beliefs and habits that do not serve you anymore.)

This act of giving up the idea of you have of yourself is one of the biggest acts of courage I know. And it is one of the most rewarding. When you give up on the idea of you, you are free to experience yourself fully in the present moment. And in the present moment you have all your skills and qualities available to go with the flow of life, to deal with challenges and enjoy the good moments. Confidence develops out of experience not of (mind) knowledge alone.

Getting Unstuck: #1 Change Perspective

You might have heard the saying that you should take care of your body as it is the only place you have to life. And as a body nerd, I fully agree. Taking care of your body, tending to areas that need attention, moving enough, and breathing freely are all elements to get unstuck for me. And as a fellow human, I assume that the same might be true for you.

Today, I want to share with you one of my ways of getting unstuck. It was inspired by a postcard I received yesterday that made me again aware that I choose what to look at. It is a conscious choice what and how I look at my life. I choose my perspective. And that I can also look at my body as my home, the house I live in. I can take a different point of view on a subject or area of my life to get unstuck.

We are usually aware of the place we live. Our apartment or house can be a refuge, a safe and cosy place. We tend to it and know if it’s messy, bright or has a few rooms that you prefer spending time in. The drawers that accumulate. One of my ways to changing my perspective is doing something I enjoy. When I get stuck, I tend to be in a foul mood and explain to myself why I feel a certain way and accept that life must be difficult. Putting my attention to things I enjoy and not being adament that it has to be difficult gives me a new perspective on things. I can choose to relate emotionally differently is one way for me to move on and join the wave of lifeagain. This can be breathing consciously or doing something creative, by asking a friend’s opinion or reading something for fun.

Yesterday, my perspective changed because I walked home a different route than usual. I had a chance encounter with a friend, the friend who gave me the inspirational postcard.  it resulted in a few drawings I made later when I got home. If you want to have a look at them, they are at the bottom of the post.

What are your ways of changing perspective?

My motto is ‘Whatever works.’ I don’t believe in the one strategy that you have to apply to be successful or a better human. And copying the strategy of someone else, might not work.

I believe there are infinite options out there that you can use that fit your life and circumstances in this moment. They might work for a while, so use them as long as they are of benefit to you. As you go along you grow, change and learn new things. Then it’s time to be open to new ways. For this you need to be aware of yourself, to be able to notice when something new is inviting you to walk a new avenue.

I’d like to extend the invitation to you to think for a few moments and make a list of ways that you know help you get unstuck. Write them down on a sticky note, in your mobile or on your computer. Place them somewhere you remember for the next time you get stuck.

My ways of getting unstuck:

1.  …………………………………………………………………………..
2.  …………………………………………………………………………..
3.  …………………………………………………………………………..
4.  …………………………………………………………………………..
5. …………………………………………………………………………….

Feel free to share your ways with us! I am always grateful for more options and inspirations.

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